carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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