But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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