you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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