I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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