Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The best revenge is premature balding
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
wow bdsm is so cute
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
