I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
