OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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