I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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