Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
