ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
