This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
