Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize