the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
