i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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