New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
