Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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