We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
