mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
