Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
