She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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