Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
