Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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