Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
