i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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