you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
