I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize