The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
