if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
