You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
