We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
