I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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