dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My breasts were aching with rage.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
