I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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