you would pick up someone in the library
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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