I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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