You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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