I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
