Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
