the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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