why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
