drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
