what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
