You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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