I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My vagina is officially offended.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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