Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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