Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
