I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
