She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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