As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
