Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
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I need you to use more vowels.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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