I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
