put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
