You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
