We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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