guys are not supposed to queef...right?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
