Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
