Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
