I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
