Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize