Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
