first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
