8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Vodka?
Forever.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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