so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
