This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
