True but thats because hes a fetus.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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