You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
