i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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