I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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