theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
