More tranny stories later!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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