.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
third nipple confirmed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
